Men's Breakfast Followup

Are brotherly relationships a luxury or a necessity in the Christian life?

At our recent men’s breakfast, we were exhorted to strengthen close men’s brotherhood relationships -- for encouragement, support, accountability and more. The book Got Your Back, by Gary Yagel, was mentioned as highly recommended reading (and for application). In case you missed it (or would like to review), here are some of the notes/scriptures that were shared, along with application questions/challenges to help us be doers of the word, not hearers only.

Is a brotherly relationship a luxury or a necessity in the Christian life?

We need to have a vertical relationship with God first and foremost and rely on Jesus and the Holy Spirit to work in us and through us. But what should the horizontal relationship look like among other believers and what is God’s design for the body of believers working together to our chief end?

Westminster Shorter Catechism Framing

1. What is the chief end of Man? – To glorify God and enjoy him
91. What is the duty which God requires of man? – Obedience to His revealed will
122. What is the sum of our duty to man? To love our neighbor as ourselves

Earthly context

We are in a battle (Eph 6:12) that is dangerous (1 Pet 5:8) and we are on a mission (Matt 28:19-20)
For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. (leads to the plea to put on the full armor of God which required assistance)
Be sober-minded, be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. (I don’t want to fight a lion alone though clearly God is able to help – David)
Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age. (not a single person charge – designed to be done together and in pairs ideally. Jesus sent out 2x2, Paul and Barnabas
WE WERE NOT DESIGNED TO DO THIS ALONE (Ecc 4:9-12) Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him-a cord of three is not quickly broken.

One Another Commands Christian brothers move towards discipling each other while completing this mission

1 The 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build one another up.
Jam 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed
Heb 3:13 exhort one another everyday that none may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin
1 Pet 1:22 love one another earnestly from a pure heart
Col 3:13-16 bear with one another, forgive each other, teach and admonish one another
Gal 5:13, 6:1-2 through love, serve, restore from transgression, and bear each others burdens
Roman 12:10 love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor
1 Cor 12:26 if one suffers, all suffer, if one is honored, all rejoice together
John 13:35 people will know you are my disciples, if you have love for one another

Poll about church discipleship Knowledge, Equipping, Accountability, Mission Focus, Prayer

Accountability was the most desired, but the least provided (can’t really be done by the church leadership). This is where iron can sharpen iron (Prov 27:17) and we need to engage with each other (Heb 10:24-25) to demonstrate our faith in God through obedience (Jam 2:26)
Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another (uncomfortable friction)
Let us consider how to stir up/spur one another to love and good works, NOT neglecting to meet together, but encouraging one another. (we need strong motivation)
Faith apart from works is dead

The author makes the case that the average member is educated way beyond his level of obedience. There is a challenge to work together to be better disciples and disciplers.

So, is a brotherly relationship a luxury or a necessity in the Christian life?

Don't Stop Now

Application and Accountability

Discussion Questions

Do you have a close relationship with a brother in Christ? If yes, how did it start? If no, why would you want to pursue one? What is the most valuable benefit you might expect?
Does David’s language in 2 Samuel 1:26 (“Your love for me was more wonderful than the love of women”) make you uncomfortable? If so, why?
Is it more difficult for us today to be a “band of brothers” like the Disciples were? How?

Brotherhood Starters

Write the names of 2-3 men you could enter into a close relationship with

Think about the logistics:

When could you meet with regularity?
What is your preference for meeting? In-person, Zoom, Phone?
When could you start trying this out

Set a SMART goal (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-Bound)

E.g. I will call John and Bill this week to see if they are available to meet twice in March to review 2-3 of the “Check 6” questions.

Accountability Challenge: Ask 1-2 people next week if they reached out to someone on their list

“Check 6” Questions (from Gary Yagel’s Got Your Back)

Check #1: What encouragements or successes have you had this past week?
Check #2: What Biblical insight or verse from your quiet time has stood out to you recently?
Check #3: What has been the most difficult part of being the spiritual leader at home lately?
Check #4: Personal Accountability: Choose what you want your brother(s) to ask you about…..
Check #5: Who are the non-believers are you building relationships with and how can I pray for your strategy to share Christ with them?
Check #6: What other spiritual battles can I help you fight through my prayer for you?

Accountability Ideas to be asked for, invited into, and trusted with:

Reading the word regularly
Praying faithfully
Sharing the gospel in your circle of influence
Involvement in mercy ministry
Idol worship: Pleasure, Power, or Control

Deadly Sins:

Pride – excessive belief in one’s own ability
Greed – desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the needs of others
Lust – intense, disordered longing or desire, often sexual
Envy – sadness or desire regarding another’s possessions or prosperity
Gluttony – overindulgence and overconsumption of anything to the point of waste
Wrath – uncontrolled feelings of anger, rage, and hatred
Sloth – laziness, apathy, or spiritual apathy

Also available as Markdown.